Another Holiday Season Without Mom

As we approach the holiday season, the loss of my mother weighs heavy on my heart. They say that grief will get easier as the years pass. But now, moving into the second year without my mother, I would like to call bullsh*t. If anything I might argue that this year will be MORE difficult than the last.

Thanksgiving is less than 5 days away. Everyone is absorbed in holiday planning and baking.  Soon we will begin to prep for Christmas. For the most part the chaos keeps our minds busy, distracting us from that fact that we are about to face another holiday season without our mother. But as soon as we start to slow down, to lower our guard, the grief makes its way in. There is no way of knowing what will elicit the pain until it happens.  Maybe it’s a song on the radio, a recipe you can’t remember, or a Christmas decoration. One thing is for certain, it will happen eventually, and it will catch you off guard.

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 A Year of Great Achievements

2016 was a good year. My siblings and I have continued to march forward in our lives, despite the daily trails we face without having our Mom to fall back on.

This past year I was given the opportunity to leave a job I was unhappy in, to gain a position at an organization that I am passionate about. I am slowly moving towards the life of a young professional as I finish up my last year of college. I have also met the man of my dreams, who I plan to spend the rest of my life with.

My brother continues to make amazing progress in his animation career. He has found a woman who completes him. A woman who understands him and pushes him to be a better version of himself. This year he even found a new home, a home where he and Sara are building a life together.

My sister persists to amaze and inspire me every day. She takes life in strides, never loosing grace or poise. In addition to being an amazing big sister, mother, and wife she has continued to climb the ladder in her career.

Overall the three of us have had a successful year. In no way do I mean complain about that. However, in some way our successes almost makes enduring the holiday season without Mom by our side MORE difficult. It is hard to enjoy your success when your main cheerleader is no longer on the sidelines. It’s hard to face new changes in the wake of the holiday season, when your rock is gone.

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New Experiences

This year I will face my first Thanksgiving away from my own family, to join Ethan at his aunts home. While I am both honored and excited to spend my first holiday with the George family, naturally, my excitement is also accompanied by feelings of sadness and anxiousness. Moments such as these are the moments when I wish Mom was around to talk to. I wish she was here to say just the right thing, to reassure me that everything will go fine.

This Christmas my older brother plans to bring Sara home to meet the family. We are all ecstatic to share our family traditions with her. Yet there is also a sadness that comes from knowing Sara will never know what a Christmas morning was like with our Mom. She will never know what it is to be woke up from mom’s rendition of  Early Bird , originally sang by Shirley Temple.

Staying Strong Together

Today my sister sent a text to my brother and me expressing how much she has been missing Mom this past week. Not an hour before I received my sisters’ text I found myself sitting in my car with tear filled eyes, holding back sobs. I am still not sure what prompted that moment of grief, and sometimes you never know. However, I find comfort and reassurance knowing that I am not the only one who has been having a hard time these last few days.

I am so thankful to know I have been blessed with two amazing siblings who know exactly what I am going through. They may be hundreds and thousands of miles away but in moments of grief it is nice to know that we are all in the same place. We all must face another holiday season with out our mother, and we will do so with cheer and poise, just as she would have wanted. We will make it through, together, as a team, united in the fight against loss.

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Why Every Girl Should Consider Dating a Farmer: According To Me

In my short 22 years of life I have dated more than a few fellas. However, among all these guys there is one who has far surpassed the rest. He his kind, humble, hard-working, patient, and incredibly intelligent. He shares my love for animals, open spaces, and family. He is a son of 4th generation farmer and he is the man of my dreams.

Here are some of the reasons why every girl should consider dating a farmer. I realize that all people are different and in no way do I intend to stereotype.  However, I would like to think that the areas I will be touching on are common enough that many will find them something they can relate to.

  1. He understands your love for living things (and even enables it).

Like most women I am obsessed with animals… especially furry and cute ones. A great thing about dating a farmer is that rather than gawking at your weird obsession, he appreciates your fascination with animals, and even enables it. In my case dating a farmer means an unlimited access to cute furry things. I’m talking about horse, pony, cow, calf, puppy and kid (the proper name for a baby goat) galore!

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  1. Every day by his side is a new adventure.

I will be honest, dating a farmer is not for the faint of heart. He works long hours, his job is messy, he tracks dirt through the house, and dates usually involved joining him at work. However, every moment with him brings excitement.

Maybe its loading into the pick-up truck and running into town to grab a piece of equipment for a tractor that broke down. It could be saddling up the horses unexpectedly, in order to round up cows that are out.

Whether its aiding a momma cow or goat in the birth of her new babe, or doctoring a sick calf… one thing is for certain… you can count on finding thrill in the uncertainty that is his life.

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  1. He values and understands the importance in family.

In almost all cases a man who works as a farmer, works on a family farm where his dad and granddad have worked before him. He realizes and appreciates that if it were not for the hard work of family members who came before him he would not be where he is at today. He carries his family name with pride, respects his elders, and he works tirelessly to carry on his family’s legacy.

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  1. He is hard working.

There are few things sexier than a man who doesn’t scowl in the face of hard work.

  1. He is a man of many trades.

He is the real life prince charming to our damsel in destress.

Farmers are small business owners; they typically do not have the resources to hire a team of skilled laborers to address each type of issue that may surface. So instead they learn to do it themselves.  He is an accountant, an architect, an engineer, a mechanic, a vet, a rancher, and a farmer. He is a Jack of all trades.

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  1. He is patient.

Farming is not a business of immediate return, quite the opposite really.

Crops take months to grow before they are ready to harvest. The land must be prepared for planting, the seeding must germinate.

The gestation period also takes time. Anywhere from 150 – 283 days depending on the animal. Even after livestock are born they are not an immediate revenue source, but rather an expense and a liability.

Due to the very nature of his lifestyle, a farmer will likely be a man of great patience.

  1. Commitment doesn’t scare him.

By far one of the greatest parts of dating a man who comes from a farming background, he isn’t afraid of commitment.

Chances are, if you find yourself dating this kind of a man, it will become apparent that he has dreams of finding someone to spend the rest of his life with. This is the kind of man who settles down and builds a family.

Assuming you want the same things, there is something reassuring about dating a man who openly talks about his desires to marry and build a family.

 

Thoughts of Hope: May the Trump Administration Prove Me Wrong

All week I have struggled to find a topic which I felt inclined to blog about. However, after the roller-coaster that was Election Day 2016, I have plenty to say. While I am not happy with the way tonight’s election has turned out, I have no choice but to deal. I plan on doing so through thoughts of hope.

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Now don’t get me wrong, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared for what this election means for the future of our country. I am scared for my safety as an American, I am scared for my rights as a woman, and I am scared for the lives of minorities. My heart is broken. I am completely beside myself on how this has even happened. It is like a bad dream that I can’t wake up from.

When the day started I got up, got out of bed, got dressed, and headed into work. I knew in my heart that today was going to be a good day for women around the world. I was confident in my candidate’s ability to win this race. Turns out my confidence was wrong.

Hillary Rodham Clinton, you are, and always will be a hero in my eyes. Our fight to break the glass ceiling is not over. I still dream about the day when I can reach over and tell my granddaughter that I was able to see the first woman take office as the President of the United States of America.

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While I would like to rant about all the reasons that I hate Trump, I realize that is a waste of my time and energy. I realize that those who I wish my message would reach, won’t listen. So instead, I am going to pass on my thoughts of hope, to those who WILL listen.

First of all, I hope that by some miracle will wake up to find that Hillary has won. Should that not be the case… I hope that Donald Trump truly does make America great. I hope that he does right by ALL the American people; black, white, brown, yellow, red, and purple.

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I hope that this loss elicits passion in minority groups. I hope that the marginalized in the United States band together and FIGHT LIKE HELL. It’s not over. I hope that rather than allowing this election to set back the clock on all social progress, that it elicits a united fight to further social justice.

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Additionally, I hope that the American people continue to feel safe in their home. I hope that this election does not jeopardize relationships with foreign allies. I hope that this election does not destroy the fate of our nation as we know it. But instead, I hope that this election makes America EVEN BETTER than I ever would have imagined it would be! I hope that the Trump administration proves me wrong.

As for now, “Good Night, and Good Luck.”